loss is a gradual thing: and i guess i never really realize when everything is going, going, and eventually is gone. 'cause things drip away in moments. moments when i have to stop and take a breath because it's like i almost stopped exisiting for a moment. moments like when she'd wait to walk out to my car with me. moments when he'd press the ridges of his palms onto my deck door. moments when she'd call me first when there was a "boy crisis." moments when i'd hold my breath 'till i saw him walking down the hall spreading peace. moments when he and i would laugh at the customers ordering buffalo wings. having her around to watch Annie with me at least twice a month. moments when we'd just sit in the screen house breathing in unison. little things like that. but don't know whatcha got till its gone, right?